I Dreamt I Was a Ballet Photographer...

I had a weird dream last night... I dreamt that I went to see the Nutcracker this week at Lincoln Center with a good friend. When I was little, My parents took me every Christmas to see the Nutcracker at Lincoln Center for years... it was special for my Mom as she was a ballerina when she was young.

I never had much interest in the ballet, it seemed boring and girly. However, in the dream, in "present day," AT The Nutcracker performance, I kept turning to my friend Marie and enthusiastically commenting on the incredibly talented dancers and the intricate choreography.

I would whisper, "Wow! look how long she's staying on pointe..." and "Look at her perfect passé, with high knee and foot and her toe isn't past her standing leg line." and I would comment on the beautiful and graceful lifts and the wonderful score by classical genius Tchaikovsky. at intermission my friend asked me how I knew all these details for a guy who hadn't been to the ballet since a child. So I told her a story of how I went to see the Nutcracker in East Hampton and took photos of the performance.

It was a local ballet school based in Bridgehampton, but the dancers were incredibly talented. I was mesmerized by the beautiful performance and gifted dancers, and as if a switch was flipped, I realized I wanted to start photographing ballerinas.

There was one dancer in particular I wanted to do a shoot with, and soon enough, a phenomenal photoshoot occurred. Friends would say it was possibly the best work I had ever done. However in my eyes, it was great but far from perfect.

I realized that day, how incredibly challenging good ballet photography was, as ballet itself is both a sport and an art, and strived for flawlessness, precision, and perfection, and yet constantly requires a sense of soul, a sense of mood, and a Je ne sais quoi that few understand let alone can convey in their adagios and allegros.

I asked questions, look at videos and read books, but it wasn't enough. I discovered the only way to become a fantastic ballet photographer was to start taking classes and learning this EXTREMELY challenging art, what most people call "The most difficult genre of dance there has ever been or ever will be."

I took classes for almost a year, and even though frustrating and awkward, I learned SO much. I never thought I'd fall in love with ballet. But sadly, in the end it was like Natalie Portman in Black Swan... in the dream, I saw myself AND the ballerina who was the star muse of the first photoshoot... become ghosts…specters…

The photographer and ballerina turned from three dimensional bodies into a soft disappearing hazy mist. And after a short while... POOF... they were gone... as if they never existed. What an incredibly bizarre dream this was. It seemed so real. When I woke from the dream, I felt a dark grief for the talented photographer and ballerina. Exit stage left.